Philosophy is something that has always interested me. I was that annoying child that always asked 'why?' and grew into that annoying adult that rarely asks but always wonders 'why?'.

My spiritual journey brought some awareness to a life-long search to understand life and figure out some more clues to happiness (I know,I know!). So here you will find some writings of mine, my thoughts, and experiences. I will also show some extracts from my soon to be completed book, 'Holding hands with the Youniverse'. 

Let go and Listen

A chance encounter of a friendship over thousands of miles

I once saw a metaphor for the universe (Youniverse as I like say),it's energyand nature's makeup as a balloon. A balloon is a physical shape filled with air. It's also surrounded by the same air. Now, we are exactly the same with the Youniverse and its energy. It is both within us and outside of us. It's in everything and holds everything together. 

Now, with this in mind, and will be mentioned and written about in many more posts to come, I believe that the more we are able to 'let go', to begin to remove the shape and identity that we poses, we can begin to become more at one with our true nature, with the Youniverse. This is when the magic happens. This is when we begin to know things, to seem to be able to unite and tune in with other people, to believe our deja vus are experiences we've literally already had, or to have experiences that we believe were deja vus. We just feel more connected to something beyond 'normal life'. The Youniverse guides us exactly where we are supposed to be going. I will talk about this much more. But for now, I just want to tell a story that actually happened to me,when I was feeling particularly open and connected to the Youniverse.

I had been travelling for a month or so at the time, in India in 2017. My travels had taken me South to Kerala and eventually and unexpectedly to Guru Amma's Ashram. People had mentioned her to me, but it wasn't really on my list of things to do. Then, as with India, plans became irrelevant. I met a couple of people that said they were going and that it was close to where I was at the time, so I thought, OK, I'll go too.   

When I arrived, I was over whelmed by the university style campus that this ashram was set in. I was alarmed and a little off guard for the warnings and rules that were plastered over the walls as you enter. No Shorts. No eating outside the ashram. No being outside the ashram after 630pm. No swimming in the ocean. Many others too. People were walking around in all white and looked very peaceful, but it was busy. My overwhelm and slight anxiousness was interrupted by a flash thought I had of an old friend, Dave. Back at university we called him Reiki Dave because he practised reiki and yoga, and he had reasonable long hair and a big beard. I wrote stage plays at Uni and he was always my number one actor in my contemporary plays (I had him play a happy dancing homeless man whose best friends were a green bag and an umbrella, and also a giant head covered in white flour as the image a voice in someone's head). We also lived together for a short while and cleaned toilets together one summer.  We were at uni in 2004-2007. 

I don't know why but I just imagined him there. 

I continued settling in; found my room and met my roommates. Over the next few days, I allowed my resistance and ego to fade and let myself become engulfed in the new surroundings. I sang in the sat-sang, took part in the meditations, and spent a lot of time on my own reading and writing and practicing yoga on the roof of my accommodation. The ashram was very noisy,so I found a quiet spot just on the boundary of the area, on the river, where I would write and read most. I met many interesting and beautiful people. A few days into the stay, Amma returned for the Christmas period and it became crazy busy. Hundreds of people  became thousands over night. I attended one Darshan (the famous hugging with Amma herself) that is another story. I also had a very interesting session with a Veydic Doctor who knew way more about me and my life and what to do to help clear Karma from this life, than I thought (again, another story). During one of these evenings, I had a dream about Dave. In the dream, we were just chatting and catching up. I don't know where or why. But it is true, that from the moment I walked in to the ashram, I felt him there even though he wasn't. 

After the dream, I decided I needed to try and get hold of him to make sure he was OK. I didn't know he wasn't but with this feeling of him around me, I needed to make sure. The problem was, he didn't have facebook and no longer used the email address I had for him. I didn't have a number for him and didn't know where he lived. I also hadn't spoken to him or communicated with him in anyway at all for over 7 years. I was a little frustrated but I let it go. I embraced the feeling and did not hold on to the idea of getting in touch with him.

The day of the dream, I was supposed to leave the ashram, but I decided to stay a bit longer. 

Two days after the dream, I was having breakfast with someone I'd met at the ashram and there it was again, I thought Dave walked passed me. I explained to the guy I was with what was going on, and even he said, 'maybe you've brought him here, in your heart'. I needed to go and write about it. I started walking toward the place on the river that I used as my quiet place, only, when I walked passed the main temple to get there, an urge came across me to go inside. Everything in there was closed at that time but something drew me in toward the seven-story temple. 

I walked up the steps to the temple. Directly in front of the first steps to this huge building was a meditation hall. Just before, to the right, was more steps that lead to the next floor. On those steps were the notice boards for yoga, music lessons, classes, and workshops etc. 

As I turned to walk up those steps, there he was. His long hair, big beard, sandals and Dohti. Dave was standing there reading the notice boards. I stopped and I cried. "I knew I was going to see you!" I said. And then he gave me one of Dave's smiles that only Dave can give. If ever you wanted proof of someone smiling with their eyes, Dave's is that. We hugged for an age. It was so beautiful. 

We hung out for the next few days. He was in India with his girlfriend but Amma is his Guru so he came on his own just for a few days to be with her. He arrived the day I changed my mind to leave and instead stayed. We caught up on life, love, peace and happiness. At one point he said to me, "You think it's weird because you knew you were going to see me here. For me it's even weirder - the last time I saw you, you were wearing a 3 piece suit and running a hotel! This is not the place I expected to see you."  

But he was right. My life had had dramatic changes over the last 6 years (at the time). One of the main changes was that I had started to learn to listen more carefully, and to let go of trying to be something I'm not. He was also right, I did know he was going to be there. And now I had even more faith in trusting myself when I'm open, honest, and living from my heart. 

We didn't exchange numbers or anything. When it was time for me to leave, I left. Never forgetting that experience. 

Until next time, my beautiful friend. 


" the soul of the river running home to the sea."

This is a line from one of my songs 'Surrender to the Moon'. A while ago, in India, this was on my mind. I have never known what I want to do. As a kid, if anyone asked that horrible question, I couldn't tell anyone what I 'wanted to be'. For a brief time I said a footballer but only for a very small period of time did I believe I believed it. 

I've done many things, experienced many places and situations. I've two degrees, different training and qualifications. Still, I don't fully know what I want. I go through stages of wanting something short-term, and it often happens. Then it goes. I stop wanting it. it no longer serves. Experiences, relationships, jobs, and of course 'things'. 

I often feel like something is waiting for me and nothing else seems worth while. The problem being, that I don't know what that something is, how to get it, or how to get to it. I feel like I go with the flow in a river that's moving. At the same time, I'm fully aware that rivers never stop moving. So, maybe I am flowing after all. All rivers run to the sea. However they get there, and which ever route, they get there. So there is no need to try and swim up river. There's no need to struggle against the tide because you're going to the sea anyway! So you may as well relax, stop resisting, and just let it be. Let it flow.      

And what is the sea? What does it represent? Death? After life? Life? Dharma? Truth? The ocean can be your Dharma. Where you're going is where you'll get to. 

On this earth there is only one 'ocean'. THE ocean. The six named bodies of water are all connected to each other. We are the same. We are all connected in the same way. Of course, to each other but also to all things 'nature'. This world (as we know it) would not exist without water. Life is born from water and needs water, one way or another, to live and thrive. It's therefore clear that we are all connected, as we all need the same resources to survive. That's the power of water and The ocean. Resisting the flow of our own main source of life is resisting life itself. Resisting our truth is resisting life; purpose and 'duty'. Our soul purpose is truth, so when we ignore it or when we cover it in shadow with ego thoughts or decisions that stem from fear not love, we lose our true purpose. When we lose purpose, we no longer feel like there is any point. Then we stop. We give up. We can of course continue surviving our way through life but when we stop and give up, we no longer live our lives. 

The modern way of life, the way we are brought up to live, encourages a swim up river kind of life. We are quickly, as children, encouraged to ignore or remove ourselves from our natural truth and instead follow a lifestyle in search of something. When we surrender to the natural flow, we understand that there is nothing to search for because we all end up flowing to the sea anyway. Which ever path we take, we run home to the sea. 

By letting go of resistance and surrendering to the notion that we are nature, we are of this earth, we make some movement toward allowing our natural flow to guide us home. This is when synchronicities become more frequent; 'signs' seem more relevant and even more powerful; numbers, names, animals, show themselves more often. We become one with the natural flow of things.   


New Start. Start New

When I ever I buy a new writing book (which is often!) I always add a quotation or write an intention-based poem for the rest of the book. This was my last one